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Author’s Note:  The topic of free speech and media (social and otherwise) has been on my mind a lot lately. I am concerned that the actions we are seeing in squelching dissenting opinions, creating algorithmic echo chambers and replacing open debate about ideas with ad hominem attacks is taking our society down a wrong and costly path…and its one we have been down before. Be warned there is a brief rant, but I have marked it so that you can choose whether to read it or not.  The choice, as it should be, is yours.

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I struggled with too many topics for this post this week, but finally realized there was indeed a common thread that runs through them and that is that history, especially political history, repeats itself, and, (separate rant) unfortunately, political hypocrisy repeats itself, too.  Amazingly, though, the politicians and the media believe that if they ignore it and don’t report it, people will just miss it and/or forget about it.  I don’t tend to completely trust reviews of what happened, because they have a tendency to either omit or downplay aspects of events due to either implicit or explicit bias, so I tend to go to original source as much as possible in order to understand both what was said and what the context is.

WARNING – BRIEF POLITICAL RANT tl;dr I don’t like hypocritical politicians and trust them up until they open their mouths.  Long version – Granted there are many, many examples of politicians switching positions based upon whether or not it benefits them (see Harry Reid/Charles Schumer/Mitch McConnell history on the filibuster when Reid did away with it under the Obama administration, Nancy Pelosi/Adam Schiff/Jerry Nadler on impeachment of Clinton vs. Trump, Maxine Waters/Kamala Harris/Nancy Pelosi on violence at summer riots vs. Capitol, Barbara Boxer/Barbara Lee/Pramila Jayapal/Jerry Nadler/Maxine Waters on challenging electors during the electoral vote count (2000, 2004, 2016, 2020) and, of course, the multitude of pretzel-like positions taken about the integrity of the election in 2016 vs. 2020 on both sides.)  These are interesting political topics that I’d be happy to discuss over a beer sometime, but, frankly, such examples are myriad and really only serve to underscore the fact that politicians tend to take whatever position benefits them at the time and have no memory of ever having thought otherwise.  In many cases, though frustrating, these flip flops don’t normally result in major societal impacts, rather they end up being part of the political dance that makes for great theater in Washington and for comedy on par with Airplane for most the rest of the country who are spending their days working to attain their part of the American Dream.  END RANT

No, the problem is when our media and cultural leaders lead us down a road based on their emotional and personal ideology without recognizing that we have experienced this before and that history wasn’t kind to us.

With that, stop me if you have heard this before…

Private media and other companies blacklist, ban and/or refuse to hire people because of their political views.

What we hear today is that it is perfectly okay, and, in fact, admirable for Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Instagram and others to ban people who espouse a right-wing viewpoint because they are private companies and don’t have to let everyone have a voice.  Additionally, they have a civic responsibility to protect individuals from exposure to misinformation. In fact, this responsibility extends to ensuring that society is protected from “speech we hate” in addition to “hate speech”.  The First Amendment does not apply because they are private companies.  Likewise, there have been many calls for businesses, particularly media-focused organizations to not hire anyone associated with the Trump administration because their willing support of the former President is tantamount to endorsing racism, fascism, etc. Because of this, they have no right, nor should they have any expectation that they should be given any platform to spew their bile.

The other side of the argument has two key points.  First is that the Internet was created to allow the completely free exchange of ideas, thoughts and concepts and that the responsibility lies with each user to decide what to read, support, etc.  Basically, if you don’t like it, don’t support it, but let it be posted.  It is the responsibility of each individual to choose for themselves what they will or will not consume on the Internet.  The second point is that the social media companies are protected from libel lawsuits exclusively because they are a “public forum” and are not responsible for the content posted.  By banning the President and several of his supporters they have become “editors” or “creators” of content and should be subject to libel and other lawsuits just as the traditional media companies are. (This is the Section 230 argument that has been going on for a bit.) Finally, there is a significant difference between speech you hate and hate speech and the first is protected under the First Amendment.

When you boil it down to basics, it is the age-old debate about whether an individual should be responsible for themselves or be taken care of or protected by a third party.

Where we’ve seen it before.  November 25, 1947 through 1960.  November 25, 1947, was the day the first Hollywood blacklist was created listing ten writers and directors who were subsequently banned from working with any of the production companies in Hollywood represented by the Association of Motion Picture Producers for refusing to testify before the House Un-American Activities Commission.  This initial list grew as the production companies began requiring oaths of loyalty and writers, directors, and actors pushed back.  The result was a period in American history that is considered by many to be a stain on our claims of freedom of expression, freedom of speech, etc.  (See Kirk Douglas – Spartacus, Trumbo, etc.)  Don’t take my word for it, read about the history of the Hollywood Ten and the many actors and writers caught up in it (e.g., Dalton Trumbo, Dorothy Parker, Charlie Chaplin, Lena Horne, Orson Welles, Burgess Meredith, etc.)  The actions by the House of Representatives with the House Un-Amerian Activities Commission was a black mark on history, but the actions by the private studios are what I am calling out here.  As private companies, they decided to silence these people based on their political views and the popular yet wrong opinion of the political elite at that time.

I know we are in a politically charged environment and that there are strong emotions on both sides of the aisle, but we cannot abandon or sacrifice the principles that have made us the greatest nation in the world in the name of nothing more than petty revenge.  We are better than that, or, at least, we should be.  Hopefully, history will show that we responded much better than our predecessors.

It’s funny how everything sounds cooler in a foreign language, doesn’t it? The theme of this post deals with making the most of this year. Last year had so many ups and downs, and for many, more downs than ups. So, this post will focus on making 2021 a better year for all.

This is the year to make big goals. I’m not talking about New Years’ resolutions which are usually forgotten within days or weeks of making them. I’m urging you to make a big, achievable goal and tell someone. Write it down. Post it on social media. My goal this year is to finally write the novel that’s been rattling around in my head for a decade. I’m laying down a marker that by this time next year that goal will be a reality. See how easy that was?

When you make goals, make sure they are big enough to scare you, but within the realm of possible. I’ll never play golf like Tiger Woods – that’s an unreasonable goal. But I could make a goal of shaving 10 strokes off my golf game this year – that’s reasonable but still a challenge.

To help with your goals, I have some good advice I’ve used to reach past goals. First, do your work before you play. Mark Twain once said, “If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first.” When you wake up in the morning, find a quiet place and write down your tasks for the day which will help you reach your goal. Do this everyday – no exceptions. If that task is writing 1000 words with the goal of finishing your novel, write 1000 words before you do anything else. Eat your frog.

Last, one parting thought. There are so many opportunities hidden in diversity – you just have to find them. Make this year your best year and set some big goals. And while you are at it, be a good person. Say thank you, please, and you are welcome. Pick up a piece of trash when you see it. Return your shopping cart to the cart stall. Be the change you want to see in others. Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “The time is always right to do what is right.” Amen.

With today being Inauguration Day, I thought it would be appropriate to write about new days. Today is a new day, historically, for our nation with President Biden becoming the 46th President of the United States and Kamala Harris becoming the first woman, African-American, and Asian-American citizen to become the Vice President. That second fact has obvious significance because of the barriers being broken simultaneously by one individual and because of the importance the American people placed on that aspect of the ticket she belonged to during the election. It is an example for others that this is a new day that affords new opportunities and new ways to look at ourselves and each other. For me and my co-contributors, it is especially germane because we each have immensely talented, intelligent, caring daughters who have sought ways to serve their families, their communities and their nations. We are all very proud of them, their successes and the example they set for others.

While today is a historically significant new day, it is also simply a new day distinct from yesterday or tomorrow. Each new day brings us a clean slate for our thoughts, words, and deeds. It’s a chance to right wrongs, finish things we started, and create new things. In one way, it’s the only day that matters. Yesterday, and all preceding days, are history and tomorrow is the future. Neither of those are tangible and in neither case can we effect the events that happened or will happen. Everything we did yesterday, good, bad and indifferent, have little meaning or impact if we don’t treat today as a new day. Anything we plan to do tomorrow has no meaning if we don’t act today. That doesn’t mean the past and the future don’t matter. What it means is that today matters the most and how we choose to approach today has significance. We can choose to rest on our laurels and coast through today. We can choose to rest today so we can have the energy to take on our big challenge tomorrow. When we take those approaches, we rely on a concept of credit for past deeds or future intentions that is negatively impacted by our inaction and failure to commit ourselves to being our best.

Today is a new day in every respect. Recommit yourself each new day to upholding the person you are, the person your family needs, the person your community needs, the person your country needs…don’t shift into cruise control today. We need each other at our best whatever that looks like for each of us. It matters whether we see it or not.

Well, I fully intended on posting this over the weekend, but, have needed time to process all of the churn and to “moderate my content” so as not to run afoul of Facebook, Twitter, et al.  Time will tell if this was successful!

While I have a lot of thoughts on all that has gone on throughout 2020, culminating in the fiasco we saw last week, I want to refer to them, but I don’t want to overanalyze, debate or even acknowledge all of them.  I’d rather take this limited time I have with you all to talk about us and how we fit in to all of it.  I have categorically and unreservedly have been against violence in protests.  I don’t care what side is doing it (and it is driven by the radical fringe of both sides), it is abhorrent and the perpetrators should be held liable to the fullest extent of the law.  That said, there were a LOT of peaceful protesters (the mainstream of both sides) who have valid points they have wanted to raise, and, frankly, the valid points should be things we openly discuss, debate and address.  We may disagree, but the issues are valid ones and they deserve an open and honest discussion among the citizenry and leadership of the country.  Unfortunately, between the violence and hatred and the virtue signaling, the valid points get lost and marginalized and the discussion never happens.

The three of us don’t always agree on everything.  We have had some energetic debates and even some heated conversations about things, but we have still remained the closest of friends/family.  This is because of the way we disagree, and the way people used to disagree.  I spent time analyzing it and it comes down to just a few principles, and, I personally believe, that if we all employed these on a wider basis, particularly with friends/colleagues/family, slowly but surely, we’d make a difference.  So, here goes.

1.  We respect each other.  This doesn’t mean that we acknowledge each other’s accomplishments.  It means we legitimately believe that the others have value.  We see each other as unique, thoughtful and having an opinion or point of view that has merit.
2. We assume noble intent.  This means that we believe that the others have a desire for improving and making things better.  This also means that if something goes wrong or fails, we don’t question their motives, because we already believe that they are acting on what they believe to be for the best.
3. We listen.  This one is vitally important.  When we are together and discussing a topic, we are actively listening, rather than sitting there figuring out what we want to say next.  Many times we find discover that we aren’t as far apart on a topic as we think or that our approaches, while different can lead to similar outcomes.
4. We seek to understand why there is a difference in our opinions. We don’t do it for the purposes of “fixing” the others’ faulty understanding, rather we do it to see if there is something in our understanding that we are either missing or haven’t considered.
5. We sincerely apologize when we cross the line.  Yes, we have crossed the line with each other before.  It happens in every relationship, but we recognize that when we’ve done something or said something that crossed the line from debate into personal attack, we need to apologize because that is wrong.
6. We understand that the value of each other is not in each one’s individual opinions, but in who they are as a whole.  One decision or one opinion does not define who any of us are as people and anyone who tries to define people by only one or two data points isn’t trying to understand people but to segregate them.
7.  We push each other to understand and test why we believe what we believe.  This is because we all are looking to better understand and grow, not because we are trying to bludgeon opposing viewpoints.
8. We understand and accept changing opinions.  We have learned that as we have gotten older, we have learned new things and some of our opinions have changed as some will probably change in the future.  We recognize that this is a sign of growth or of understanding new information and that is generally a good thing.
9. We agree to disagree…agreeably.  If we don’t agree and after talking through it, we still don’t agree, we leave it at that.  We don’t keep trying to hammer on the others to change, we don’t take cheap shots about the disagreement, and we revisit it only if warranted.

This list isn’t rocket science.  It’s basically the golden rule.  We treat each other as we want to be treated and we believe the best.  Given what we have seen in the political discourse, the media bias, and the culture of “it isn’t enough to win, I have to destroy you” and “I am right and good, therefore you must be wrong and evil”, I don’t see this approach being adopted to widely by the leadership and exemplars of our society, so it is up to us to model it, practice it and influence others around us.  I heard a suggestion for bringing civility back to online discourse.  The suggestion was to make every comment and response a 2-way video rather than text.  Force people to look at the person they are writing about and tell them directly rather than hide behind an anonymous keyboard.

At the end of the day, the division, strife, violence and name-calling will probably continue, for a number of reasons.  We, however, have a choice.  We can contribute to its longevity, or we can resolve to do what we can during the course of our daily lives to build bridges rather than burn them and encourage rather than tear down.  One thing I have learned is that it is far easier and quicker to destroy than build, but there is much greater satisfaction from building.  So, think before you post, resist the urge to press the send button on something you know is inflammatory, and assume noble intent, especially with friends and family.  After all, they’ll be the ones helping you change a tire at midnight in the cold, not Pelosi or McConnell.  Have a great week!

P.S.  For those of you who believe 2020 was the worst year ever, take a look at 1968, or 1919, or 1944 or 1862.  Those were some bad years.

Yesterday, one of the coauthors forwarded an email to me which included a reference to our current Secretary of Defense’s habit of carrying Marcus Aurelius’ “Meditations” at all times. I wasn’t aware that Secretary Mattis carried this philosophical work with him, but it doesn’t surprise me at all. He is the Philospher-Warrior of our time. I’m certain he and Aurelius would have a wonderful time hanging out and discussing life, war and the cosmos. They are both Stoics’ Stoics.

The opening of Meditations has Aurelius thanking those who shaped him into the man he became. Here is my attempt to do the same:

From my father: patience, value of hard work, not taking things too seriously

From my maternal grandfather: attention to detail, humor

From my paternal grandfather: a sense of calm, a heart for others

From my best friend: competitiveness in balance with care

Apparently, I’m on a streak of using song titles that makes the actual content of the post. This one might not be that far off the title though. The other day I was watching a BBC documentary by a physicist who wanted to explain biological phenomena based on the laws of physics. His premise, like that of Einstein when he developed the Theory of Relativity, was that the principles of biology have generally not been questioned for decades or longer.

He discussed three human senses-sight, hearing and smell. The first two, according to biologists, rely on physical laws related to waveforms. However biologists describe the sense of smell using laws of organic chemistry. They assert that molecules determine smells and that the makeup of different molecules determine a scent. The shape of a molecule can only fit certain olfactory receptors so the chemical connection tells our brain that a rose is a rose

The physicist took this thought further and described the fact that molecules are not static things but particles of energy that are connects in different ways. He posits that these connectors are what determines a scent because they vibrate at different frequencies just like the strings of a violin. Those frequencies determine good smalls and bad smells. Just like music helps determines good moods and bad moods.

Thinking through his theory made me think of how much music impacts my mood. I used to listen to music all day long. From waking up to the radio to popping in a CD before bed, I made it a point to play music that made me happy. I’ve gotten away from that the past few years so it’s time to revive that habit. Music is a powerful force of physics that makes the molecules get down and get funky.

A recently published book describes two approaches to raising children: The Gardener and The Carpenter. The Gardener approaches raising children by giving them just enough guidance (sunshine, good soil and water) and then letting them grow and explore throughout their developmental years. The Carpenter has a plan that must be followed with precision of the child is to turn out as desired.

The author argues that either approach has value and pitfalls. For example, maybe you don’t like the Carpenter’s approach because it’s too structured and limits possibilities, but what would you say to the child who after exploring possibilities for a dozen years decides she wants to be a world class figure skater or gymnast? Right or wrong, in today’s world it’s nearly impossible to be either of those things if starting at the age of 12. (Referring to a previous post, this is simply a fact whether we want to accept it or not.) Personally, I don’t think I could have ever made a decision for a toddler to become this or that, but theoretically, is that approach denying society something positive.

I hope I took the middle ground even though I was probably more of a Gardener. Luckily for our kids I was balanced by a Carpenter. Maybe that’s the best approach.

PS Today would have been my dads 70th birthday. He was much more of a Gardener. I still miss him.

Well, we are smack dab in the middle of the Thanksgiving to Christmas sprint and it definitely feels like it.  From last minute shopping (thank you online retailers) to upcoming parties and visitors, the season feels less and less nostalgic and more and more frantic.  Sometimes it can feel like all we are doing is preparing and waiting for Christmas to arrive so that we can finally stop the frenetic pace, and that, in my opinion, robs us of most of what makes this season special.  I know that I have found myself stressing out about getting gifts purchased in time to be shipped, making sure that I have blocked the right days on the schedule to ensure that we keep all of the engagements that arise, etc.  In doing that, though, I have also found myself forgetting about the joy of the season, sacrificing the message of Peace on Earth, Goodwill Towards Men, and replacing it with, Please Let Me Get All This Done and Don’t Let That Jerk Take My Parking Place.

You would think a day of Thanksgiving would kick off a month of reflecting on the reason we celebrate the Christmas season.  I know for me, part of the issue is that reflection requires intention.  To reflect on the season means that you have to intentionally take time out of your day to think about why we celebrate and why, in particular, it is special to you, and, frankly, we all get so wrapped up in the day to day, minute to minute aspects of life that we just don’t think about it.  With our always online lives, we have so much entertainment and access to distractions that we rarely find ourselves alone with our thoughts, and I really think we have forgotten the art of taking time each day for quiet reflection, meditation, prayer, or the like.  Personally, when schedules get packed and time gets short, I find myself shortchanging these times or skipping them entirely, using the excuse that I just don’t have the time “right now” and that I’ll get to it when the schedule eases up.  In reality, though, there is never an abundance of time, so I have started to take a different tack and look at my quiet times as I do my exercise times.  Times that are priorities because they put me in the right physical, mental and emotional state to be at my best.  That means the schedule has to change and sometimes means that I don’t get other things done.  What is interesting, though, is that the more at peace I am, the more I am able to discern which things don’t need to be done, and the more able I am to tackle and complete the things that have to be done.

So, as you join me at the halfway point in this holiday season, I’d like to challenge you to intentionally make time each day to quiet yourself and reflect on what the season means in general and specifically to you in your life…no phones, no tablets, no other distractions, just quiet.  It’ll definitely make the season Merry and Bright.  Have a great week!