Month: July 2017

I have often reepeated this phrase in times of difficulty and trials, but recently saw it in a different and somewhat sadder light. For contextual purposes, I have been at a conference this week at a location I have visited a number of times over the past 25 years.  The city has changed dramatically over that time and is not at all the same experience it used to be…or so I thought. 

From 1992-1996, whenever I would come out here I would have dinner one night at a family-operated traditional Italian restaurant that had been in operation since 1970.  It was a true gentleman, complete with strolling accordion player, cappuccino for dessert and homemade pasta and sauces. Celebrities would come in and their pictures would be added to the hundreds already hanging throughout the many little nooks and crannies.

This year, some 21 years after my last dining experience with the family, I rounded up the others with me, booked a reservation and anxiously hoped it would be as good as I remembered.  Sure enough, the wine was set on the table, the veal marsala ordered from the unchanged menu on the wall, and Gordy, the ancient yet still sorry accordion player emerged from the back room transitioning from “That’s Amore” to “Take Me Out To The Ball game” as he approached our table. It struck me then how rare it is to find anything that remains so good, yet unchanged over almost 50 years.

That is when I realized that, unfortunately, like those difficulties and trials, this, too, shall pass and will fall out of the realm of enjoyable experience to simply fond memory, and, likewise shall diminish in our memories over time.  This really opened my eyes to the need to enjoy the good moments while they are with us just as we must persevere through the tough ones, because when they ultimately pass, and they will, we will only have wistful memories to draw upon.

Sorry this post is late. I’ve already begged mercy from my coauthors. You see my family and I spent sixteen hours driving home from vacation last night and I simply forgot to post after getting home late and unpacking in the dark. But DO NOT take that as a plea from sympathy–simply understanding.

I’ll take yesterday’s task anytime as small payment for the joy of vacation. Especially this vacation. We were able to reconnect with family and friends we haven’t seen in over a decade. And it made me wonder why we haven’t seen them in so long. Our stops were short, no more than 48 hrs in any one place, but jam packed with great conversation, laughter to tears, delicious meals together and sights that took our breath away.

After each stop, we always said the same thing: “We shouldn’t take so long to get together again.” But the fact is we haven’t avoided these folks or forgotten how wonderful this area of the country is for relaxing. We simply have lives to live as do our friends and family. There is never enough time to spend the kind of time we desire with everyone. And, maybe, that is why the times we have together are so special.

As mentioned before, the three coauthors are all former Russian interpreters so we all love language. I stumbled across this list recently and thought it would be fun to share here. It’s a list of nine insults we should all bring back to our lexicon. Enjoy. I did.

Gobermouch – An old Irish term for someone who likes to meddle in someone else’s business.

Gnashnab – An 18th century English word that means someone who likes to complain all the time.

Snoutband – Someone who always interrupts a conversation in order to correct or contradict the speaker.

Stampcrab – Someone who is clumsy or heavy footed.

Scobblelotcher – An old English word meaning someone who avoids work like doing so is their job.

Whiffle-Whaffle – Someone who wastes a lot of time.

Zounderkite – A Victorian word meaning idiot.

Fopdoodle – Someone of little significance

Klazomaniac – Someone who always speaks VERY LOUDLY!

I just finished Neil Gaiman’s book Norse Mythology and I can recommend it highly to anyone interested in the subject. Neil Gaiman does a wonderful job of retelling the history of the Norse gods and his book reminded me that we use words every day and forget (or don’t know) the origin. For example, the days of the week from Tuesday to Friday are named for Norse gods.

Tuesday is named for Tiw, or Tyr, the one-handed Norse god of War. He plays a pivotal role in the Norse end of times, Ragnarok, by killing one of Loki’s (grown) children. You have to read the book to find out which one.

Wednesday is Woden, or Odin’s day. Odin has many names; Grimnir, All-father, Balyegg, Bilyeg, Fjornir, Glapsvith, Gondlir, among the many others.  He was the ruler of the Asgard, the realm of the Norse gods. He gave his left eye for wisdom and hung on the world tree to learn about magic. Wednesday comes from Old English “Wodnestag.”

Thursday, “Thor’s day,” is named for the Norse god of thunder, Thor. Thor is a different character than the one portrayed in the Marvel movies. He has a great red beard and is married to the Lady Sif.

Friday is named for Freya or Frigg, the wife of Odin. Frigg was the Norse goddess of love and beauty. She was not, as Marvel would lead you to believe, a mother to Loki. Loki was actually Odin’s blood brother – not Thor’s.

So happy Freya/Frigg day and have a great weekend!

Last week at the U.S. governors’ conference, Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX warned the audience, “AI is a fundamental (and) existential risk for human civilization.” He’s not the only very smart and tech savy CEO or scientist that’s saying this – Bill Gates, CEO of Microsoft and non-other than the esteemed Stephen Hawking have given the same warning. It is not unusual for new and potentially disruptive (and apocalyptic) technologies to be feared. Examples of this are the airplane, the automobile, and even the computer. This was and will be the case for the future.  It’s interesting that these technologies that bring both benefit and risk can cause such angst.

While neither Elon Musk, nor Bill Gates, or even the brilliant Stephen Hawking can predict the future, they do understand the risks and potential a bit better than the average layman. Many publicly disagree with the esteemed gentlemen listed above. They accuse them of playing upon the fears, biases, and phobias of the public – especially after the legion of movies with killer, self-aware robots out to rid the planet of those pesky humans.

While I’m not sure I’m ready to paint a dystopian future, where machines have replaced humans in the workplace or where machines have become self-aware and thinking on a level at or beyond human cognition. But I am ready to listen to these gentlemen’s warnings. We barely understand how human consciousness is formed and structured – we are also learning that the so-called unused portion of the brain is actually doing something we don’t understand.  Additionally, we are just beginning advanced AI software development considering our significant ignorance regarding the workings of the human brain.  Never the less – it’s not too soon to start thinking about setting limits and listening to our modern Cassandras.

Cassandra was the daughter of King Priam of Troy (yep, that Troy). She warned her father about the upcoming war, and not to let the Greek gift of a horse into the city. She urged her father to burn the horse. She even tried to destroy the horse with an axe and torch before the people of Troy stopped her – mocking her as they restrained her. The rest (as they say) is history.  Maybe Troy could have avoided destruction by trusting Cassandra – and maybe we can escape a possible Terminator XX sequal by trusting the modern Cassandras.

I have been reading a bit in sword-making lately since a friend of mine recently retired and had been a blacksmith and now had the time to pursue it more frequently. He was telling me about the various difference in technique, form, and tradeoffs you have to make in order to make a strong, well-crafted blade. He described how important the process of heating, folding, shaping and cooling would slowly but surely turn the steel into an elegant weapon capable of withstanding severe stresses.  He also told me how if you cool too slowly or too quickly, you can cause the blade to become brittle or inflexible, reducing it’s usefulness.

It made me think of how people are molded and shaped by the events in their lives to either make them strong or make them fragile. As we go through the fire, the shaping, and cooling, many times we (very naturally) want to move to the stages where there is no heat, no hammering and no introduction of new things to assimilate.  We just want the quick cooling and handoff as a finished product, but the reality is that we need the difficult times, the wearing times, the learning times, and the relaxing times in the proper ratios if we are to grow and be strong, flexible and elegant people. If we cool too fast or are in the fire too long, we miss the balance point and need to start the process all over again. 

So, as many of you are going through trials and difficulties, my advice is to take heart. This process will result in you becoming stronger and more capable than you ever believed possible.  It may stretch and challenge you but won’t destroy, but, rather, make you. 

This is a short post today and I have written about this before, but my wife sent me a link to a perfect example of the concept.  Your point of view many times determines your attitude, which ultimately determines your responses to the vagaries of the day life throws at you.  I encourage/plead with you to read it all the way through.

Yes, you read that right. I know the standard version of that phrase is “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth.” My experience has taught me not to take that advice. Think about it for a minute and I believe many of you will agree with me.

I understand the original intent of the phrase. It had to do with trust and manners when receiving a gift. However, trust has nothing to do with the gift and everything to do with the giver. If it’s about trust, it’s not about the horse. Checking a horse’s teeth gave the recipient insight into the age and health of the horse. If I didn’t have a close relationship with the giver, I’m always checking the horse’s teeth. I don’t want to be stuck with a worn out old nag ready for the glue factory which is going to cause me more trouble than it’s worth.

Nothing is free..even free things. I’ve seen bosses take employees because they come “as free labor” since someone else is paying their salary. Not once has this worked out including one time where the employee ended up being arrested and kicked out of government service. There’s a significant difference between a gift from a friend or trusted colleague and a reject wrapped in nice paper. Don’t worry so much about being polite or adding to your stockpile when someone offers you a “gift horse.” Check it out thoroughly and then make a decision. If the giver gets mad, either they or the gift weren’t worth it.

This post builds on Friday’s post by my coauthor about Raising Good Humans. The phrase “we’re all human” is often used to refer to our fallibility, but that’s not where I’m going with this post. This quote from Albert Einstein captures my intent:

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of a university.”

I’m not surprised that the inventor of relativity took this approach to interacting with other people. He obviously had nothing to prove intellectually and, according to accounts, was incessantly trying to learn. That degree of inquisitiveness makes everyone a resource.

I am surprised however that many people who rise through the ranks of their respective fields don’t have the same attitude on the way up the ladder. I’ve seen too many middle managers or executives who don’t have the time of day for anyone that can’t “do something” for them. I hear many of these “leaders’ tell the NASA story about how President Kennedy asked a janitor in one of NASA’s facilities what he was doing that day. The janitor replied, “I’m sending a man to the moon.” It’s a great story about how everyone contributes to an organization’s mission regardless of role AND that we should all treat each other as contributing members of the team. However, the walk needs to match the talk.

I’ll take the Einstein way any day. Interacting with the cleanup crew, the gym staff, the security guards, or anyone else in our organization ALWAYS makes me smile and lifts my spirit no matter how the day is going. I hope it does the same for them and that ultimately our team is stronger because of a brief, but sincere interaction.

Being a good human means being good to other humans…all of them.

“The Most common form of human stupidity is forgetting what we wanted to accomplish”, Friedrich Nietzsche. Looking back at the projects I’ve began and did not complete usually leads me to one or two primary causes. More than any other cause, it was because I became lost in the minutiae. Rather than tackle the big parts of the problem – or project, then worry about the side or ancillary tasks, I get lost in those side and ancillary tasks. The small tasks are quick victories that should encourage most people to finish the big ones. But sometimes don’t.

This post isn’t meant to remind you to put the big rocks in the jar first or any other time management lessons. This post also isn’t meant to teach a lesson about priorities. This post is simply a reminder that we are all human with flaws, no matter how much we want to deny that fact.  The hardest person to forgive when something goes wrong or when mistakes are made is usually ourselves. Be kind to yourself – forgive and move on – even when you sometimes get lost in the minutiae.  To add my own twist to Nietzsche’s quote – the second most common form of human stupidity is beating our selves up when we we do forget what we wanted to accomplish.