there is a fair amount of controversy recently about the op-ed written by Mayim Bialik regarding the Harvey Weinstein scandal. She wrote about her personal experience as an up and coming actress and how she held to her personal values during that time. She didn’t attribute pros or cons to her approach–she just described her experience. Unfortunately, many people took her comments as blaming the victim for the abuse Weinstein and others inflicted on women in the movie/tv industry.

We should be able to have a conversation where different people can discuss their individual experiences without people assigning a motive to their words. We should be able to have informative conversations without assigning motive or blame. Assigning blame is always a dangerous proposition.

In the case of the abuse Weinstein perpetrated, some puritanical types believe that if a woman dressed more conservatively or acted more demurely the crime would not have happened. This thinking fails to recognize that the man who committed the crime made a conscious decision to do something wrong. Blame lies ONLY with the person who decided to do something wrong. It’s not a shared responsibility nor a cause and effect phenomenon.