So…there are a lot of lists out there about “what movies taught me”,  but I wanted to do my own take on them.  While I cannot cite specific data, I fervently believe these to be true.  Without further ado, here goes.

1. The sheer number of secret government agencies targeting our own people for assassination, blackmail, conspiracy, etc. is zero.  While there are mistakes, malicious insiders and malcontents inside all major organizations, including “secret government agencies”, all of these organizations are staffed by people just like you and me who care about the safety and security of our nation and who have way too many things on their work to do list than to arbitrarily try to execute an elaborate plan to frame you for treason.
2. St. Patrick’s Day parades are noticeably bereft of people trying to hide from law enforcement or trying to escape someone chasing them.  While I am sure there are people in every St. Patrick’s Day and other parade that have some minor illegal activity in their past, very, very few, if any of these parades are a convenient cover for a wrongly convicted felon escaping his pursuers.
3. While many, many 1967 and 1971 Mustangs have been named “Eleanor”, almost none of them have been the target of international car theft rings and even fewer have been subjected to the abuse shown in the movies and still operate to this day.
4. Iowa isn’t heaven.
5. Iowa isn’t heaven.
6. Iowa isn’t heaven.
7. Many policemen and detectives retire every day without getting involved in a life-threatening gunfight, major drug bust, or mafia takedown.
8. Most people in comas do not awaken to find their soulmate sitting by their bed.
9. Most planes fly without incident (e.g., snakes, turbulence, terrorists, etc.).
10. Computers, robots and apes are not threatening to take over the earth and destroy mankind.
11. I can’t stress this enough…Iowa isn’t heaven…

There are things that movies do tend to get right, however.  For example, people tend to be benign.  Some are good, some are bad, and many are indifferent to what is going on around them.  Most government organizations are staffed with people just doing their job and trying to get through their day, not part of a massive government conspiracy.  And, of course, if we have to defend earth from extraterrestrial beings our best hope lies with Will Smith, Jeff Goldblum, Randy Quaid, and Mac OSX which is capable of both interfacing with and exploiting alien technologies.

While I hope this has brought a smile to your face, I also hope it reinforces the message that not everything you watch is true.  We understand this with movies but it is also true with every form of media you encounter.  If you want truth, seek it out.  Pursue it, research it and don’t give up until you find it.  Oh, and Iowa isn’t heaven…